为什么大多数印度新娘婚后不久就被丈夫抛弃

Why are most Indian wives abandoned by their husbands soon after marriage?

为什么大多数印度新娘婚后不久就被丈夫抛弃？

以下是Quora网友的评价：

Pari Bora

May be because they are forced to marry and not ready for it. In India marriage is treated like a one solution for all issues… If the guy is depressed, or the girl.. people think marriage will solve it. If a guy stays out of house late often .. or a woman parties a lot.. our outlook on Marriage is extremely poor and redundant. We look for beauty and wealth instead of compassion and compatibility. If she makes you happy, marry her. If he makes you happy marry him. Not for other things like dowry and status n family and age and grandchildren.

可能是因为他们是被父母逼着结婚，还没有做好准备吧。在印度，人们把婚姻看做解决所有问题的唯一办法......如果男男女女情绪低落……人们认为结婚就能解决问题。如果一个男人经常很晚回家……或者一个女人经常参加派对……我们的婚姻观是极其可怜、多余的。我们追求的是美丽和财富，而不是理解和和谐。如果她让你幸福，就娶她。如果他能让你幸福，就嫁他。不要为了其他事情而结婚，比如嫁妆多少、地位高低、年龄大了、老人家想抱孙子了等等。

Learning Online

Most women past affairs gets exposed after marriage. So if such past affairs comes to light after marriage, such women are thrown out of the house.

Most women are not interested in doing household chores. They want to be treated as VVIP. In practical life this is not possible. Therefore such doodle lazy women are send back to home

大多数女人的风流韵事都是在婚后暴露出来的。因此，如果这些事在婚后曝光，这些女人就会被赶出家门。

大多数女性对做家务不感兴趣。她们希望被丈夫视若珍宝。在实际生活中，这是不可能的。所以这种懒女人也被送回家了。

Most women are disrespectful towards her in-laws and husband too. Such arrogant, rude wife are not tolerated for long in her husband house

Most women provoke her husband against MIL. Later when her MIL gets to know about this conspiracy, rift develops between DIL-MIL and ultimately DIL is thrown from the house

Most women are characterless. If they are working they frame extra marital affairs. So when they are caught they are kicked out

大多数女人也不尊重她的公婆和丈夫。这种傲慢无礼的妻子在丈夫家是无法被长期容忍的。

大多数女人会因为在丈夫面前挑拨丈夫和婆婆的关系，如果婆婆知道了她的阴谋后，她和丈夫之间就会产生裂痕，最终被赶出了家门。

大多数女人没有个性。如果她们外出工作，就会策划婚外情。如果被发现，她们就会被赶出家门。

Learning Online

Why are most Indian wives nowadays divorced by their husbands immediately after marriage?

为什么现在大多数印度妻子婚后立即被丈夫提出离婚要求？

Most women are divorced for hiding her past affairs. At the time of marriage most women don’t confess her past affairs with a fear of getting rejected by groom. After marriage if her affairs comes into light then she is made to pack her bag to her house for ever.

There are many women who marry successful men but they don’t bring enough dowry. Though they are accepted for marriage but later they are tortured to bring more dowry. If she fails to bring or denies then she is send back to her house for ever.

大多数女人离婚是因为隐瞒了曾经的风流韵事。结婚时，大多数女人因为怕新郎厌弃自己，不会承认恋爱史。婚后如果被曝光，她只能收拾行李回家了。

有很多女人嫁给了事业有成的男人，但她们的嫁妆不够多。虽然结了婚，但会受到折磨，逼她们多补一些嫁妆。如果她做不到或者拒绝了，就会被遣送回家。

DIL-MIL relations are always bitter from ancient times. There is hardly a house where the relationship between DIL-MIL are healthy. In most cases if DIL is not respectful towards her MIL then such women is considered bad DIL as per Indian marriage. Therefore such DIL are mentally tortured to such a extent where she herself back out from the marriage

Working wives are never interested in doing household chores. This kind of behavior of esca household chores and responsibilities is hated by in-laws. Therefore a rift of hate develops between DIL and MIL and at last DIL has to suffer.

婆媳关系自古以来就很紧张。多数情况下，如果儿媳不尊重婆婆，那么根据印度婚姻习俗，这些女人就是坏儿媳。所以这些妻子会在精神上饱受折磨，自己要求离婚。

职业女性对做家务从不感兴趣。这种逃避家务和责任的行为是被公婆不喜的。所以儿媳和婆婆之间互相厌恨，最后儿媳要吃苦头。

There are many women who are like lazy. They don’t want to do anything neither Job nor interested in doing household chores. Therefore such DIL are send back to home because no husband or his family wants a useless DIL

Most modern DIL don’t want to follow the norms and customs of her husband house. Due to not following of house rules there is lot of arguments between DIL and family members and in some case DIL is made to quit the marriage

有很多女人很懒。她们啥都不想干，既不想工作，也不想做家务。这种儿媳会被遣送回家，因为没有丈夫或婆家想要一个没用的儿媳。

大多数现代儿媳不想遵循夫家的习惯和风俗。儿媳和家庭成员之间矛盾重重，有时会被迫离婚。

Some working women develop extra marital affairs with her office colleague. If such affairs come to light then she is send back to her house.

There are many women who are gold digger by nature. Always spreading hands before her husband and her family to receive something or the other. Gold diggers are never entertained in any family.

有些职业女性与办公室同事发生婚外情。如果婚外情曝光，她就会被遣送回家。

有很多女人天生就是拜金女。她总跟丈夫和家人伸手要钱要礼物。任何家庭都不待见拜金女。

There are many women who are extrovert by nature. So they love to waste most of their time in friends and all. They totally neglect household responsibilities and chores or expect her MIL to do everything on her behalf. Also these women comes under the influence of those people who provoke against MIL to break the family. These type of DIL don’t last long in marriage.

If a women has hided any illness before marriage which comes to light after then such DIL are thrown out of marriage on ground of cheating.

有很多天生外向的女人，她们喜欢花时间和朋友玩。她们完全忽视了家庭责任和家务，希望她的家人替她完成所有的事情。这种人的婚姻也不会持续太久。

如果女人在结婚前隐瞒了疾病，婚后被夫家发现，那么这种媳妇就会以骗婚为由被抛弃。

Angela Birch

Why are some husbands abandoning their wives and children nowadays?

Nothing new, a certain percentage of husbands have always done that. There was no golden time in the past when all husbands stayed with and loved their spouse and children. We human being do not change.

We love to fool ourselves that if we just got back to some mysterious golden time in the past all would be great, there was no such time. The past was in many ways far worse than the present. Vastly increased domestic violence, vastly increased crime. As historians say life was short, violent and brutish.

为什么现在有些丈夫抛弃他们的妻子和孩子？

这种事一点都不新鲜，有些男人就是这样的。古时候也不是所有的丈夫都会和妻子白头偕老，守着妻子和孩子。人类一直如此。

我们喜欢欺骗自己，总说如果我们回到过去的某个神秘的黄金时代，一切都会很好，可历史上并没有这样的时候。过去在许多方面都远比现在糟糕。家庭暴力屡见不鲜，犯罪行为大幅攀升。正如历史学家所说，古人的生命是短暂的，暴力的，野蛮的。

Ann Patrick

Why do married men disconnect from their wives after many years of a good marriage?

为什么已婚男人在经历了多年的美满婚姻后会与妻子恩断义绝？

Usually they just get bored. And boredom happens when we are not happy inside, so we use outside pleasure or excitement to distract us from our inner discontent.

So it’s not YOU he’s leaving .. he’s TRYING to leave his discontent behind and unfortunately assumes you are the cause of it.

95% of how we feel arises from whatever kind of emotional subconscious patterns we have created in our brain .. but we persist in trying to find external solutions to internal unhappiness.

通常他们只是觉得无聊。如果我们内心感到不快乐，就会无聊，所以我们用外在的快乐或兴奋来分散我们对内心不满的注意力。

所以他离开的不是你这个人…而是试图把摆脱这种不满，但不幸的是他认为是你造成了他的不满。

我们95%的感觉来自于我们在大脑中创造的某种情感潜意识模式。但我们坚持试图通过外部的解决方案来解决内心的不快乐。

In the case of “after many years”, often there is more than just the marriage involved here. The mid-life crisis is rather common .. it comes when we start to realize that we are NOT going to achieve many of our dreams, that our current situation isn’t going to give us the rewards we hoped for, when our career is stalled and there are no more rungs to climb on our particular ladder. Also, as our body starts to age, we might start to panic and think we MUST act NOW or our dreams will never be actualized.

对于题目中提到的“很多年”，往往也不只是针对婚姻而已。中年危机的现象十分普遍。当我们开始意识到有很多梦想无法实现时，当我们的现状不能提供我们所期待的回报时，当我们的事业停滞不前时，当我们发现已经没有更多的上升空间时，它就来了。此外，随着我们的身体开始衰老，我们可能也会开始恐慌，认为我们必须现在就行动，否则我们的梦想将永远无法实现。

It happens more for men than for women, because women tend to put their dreams into the basket of relationships, and men tend to put it into the basket of external/worldly situations.

Sadly, as the wife, there is not a thing you can do about it. Taking time to assess how content they were inside BEFORE deciding IF they were content enough to make a marriage last.

这种情况在男人身上发生的概率比女人更高，因为女人更愿意把她们的梦想投射在人际关系里，而男人则更容易把梦想放在外部/世俗环境的篮子里。

可悲的是，作为妻子，你对此无能为力。在判断他们内心是否觉得满足，是否足以维持婚姻之前，你要花点时间评估他们内心的满足程度。

We all tend to marry because of chemistry, despite the fact that chemistry is only 11% of what makes marriage work, and that most of it is internal wholeness and emotional maturity.

I am truly sorry for you .. not pity, but personal empathy. It is difficult to see a dream and a life sift through your fingers like sand, unable to stop the process. You will recover, for whatever small relief that knowledge might provide at this time. As a matter of fact, you might go on and become happier than before .. I know I did. So I have that hope for you as well.

我们往往因为男女之间化学反应而步入婚姻，但事实上这种激情只占婚姻成功的11%，婚姻若想成功，大部分还是要靠内心的完整和情感的成熟。

我真的为你感到抱歉……不是怜悯，而是个人的同情。很难看到梦想和生活像沙子一样从你的指间流过，无法停止。你会恢复的，事实上，你可能会继续生活下去，可能会比以前更快乐。我知道我这样做过。所以我对你们也有这样的信心。

Garima Verma

Why do husbands lose interest from wives after marriage?

Because wives undergo a lifestyle overhaul after their marriage — and men don't feel the difference too much. Hence she becomes a person with different habits than what had attracted him to her originally.

Imagine a “cool" girlfriend - and what happens to her when she becomes a wife.

为什么婚后丈夫会对妻子失去兴趣？

因为妻子婚后会经历生活方式的彻底改变，而男人却感觉不到太大的不同。于是她变成了和当初吸引他的人有着不同习惯的人了。

想象一下那个“酷酷的”女友—成为妻子后会发生什么变化呢。

What she wants is this —

she wants to go to office and kick ass at work without worry of arranging three meals a day at home

she doesn't want to cordinate schedules with her maid as per “sahab's” convenience

she doesn't want to give up on her outings and drinking and partying with her girlfriends

she doesn't want to to keep a shop list, a budget for household expenses

she wants the freedom to plan spontaneous trips

she wants to continue to wear her party dresses even outside and not just in the bedroom for her husband

she doesn't want to entertain in laws and society and meet their expectations of a good “Bahu"/daughter in law/ wife etc.

she doesn't want to talk about planning a child because that's an additional responsibility that she's not currently ready for

她想要的是这样的：

她想要上班，在工作中表现出色，而不用烦心安排一日三餐

她不想和女仆协调日程

她不想放弃和她的女朋友们一起外出、喝酒和聚会的机会

她不想纠结购物清单，不想为家庭开支做预算

她想要自由自在地计划自己的旅行

她想要继续穿着派对礼服出门，而不是只能在卧室里穿给丈夫看

她不想讨好婆家和世俗眼光，也不想满足他们对好“丈夫”/媳妇/妻子等的期望。

她不想谈论生育子女的计划，因为她目前还没有准备好承担额外责任

Is all of this possible for her??

I don't think so.

So she adapts. For the sake of her marriage. For the sake of her love. She becomes a wife. Her lifestyle changes. She calls it maturity. She take the role of being a primary homemaker with some contribution and support from her husband.

She tries to be true to herself. But it's not exactly the same as before. It's a compromise. Husband starts thinking she's become so boring, so different, such a nag, …aaaand he loses interest!!

这一切对她来说都有可能吗？

我觉得不可能。

所以她只能适应。为了她的婚姻，为了她的爱人，她开始扮演妻子的角色。她的生活方式变了。她称之为成熟。在丈夫的贡献和支持下，她开始扮演起家庭主妇的角色。

她努力做真实的自己，但和以前不太一样了。这是一种妥协。丈夫开始觉得她如此无趣，如此特意独行，如此啰嗦唠叨……最后他对她失去了兴趣！！