What is the typical mentality of the Indian society?
Kalyan Chavali, Java Developer at Dish Network (2018-present)
This may be lost in the myriad of other answers but this is something that needs to be said.
The mentality I have come across amongst Indian people is that everything made in India is of inferior quality to their foreign counterparts. (except spices and food of course). This mentality will truly hamper any industries sprouting out making products.
We need to follow the Americans on this one. I have lived in USA for a year and you gotta love the “we should make everything in our country” spirit. Such spirit also exsts in India but the products are always sub standard. Americans on the other hand take pride in using products they manufactured themselves.
We need to believe in ourselves and make great products without compromising quality for profit or any other unimportant reason. Only then, the make in India campaign will have any meaning. Simply manufacturing products is not good enough.
Contrary to popular belief, Indians will buy products even if they are expensive but only if they do the said job and the service is good. So put your effort into it and see the difference.
I know doing business in India is hard. Government has so many restrictions to give freedom to companies. Therefore, even government has to change rules to allow companies to produce great quality products.
This applies to all products and industries in our country but when it comes to software industry it is greed that is ruining the quality of the software. The software engineers working are underpaid and expected to work overtime to get the work done. Working overtime everyday will reduce productivity, resulting in sub standard products. Managers need to understand that more time is not equal to more work done. Humans are not machines. Apart from that, proper training for software engineering needs to be the top priority in such companies.
来源：三泰虎 http://www.santaihu.com/46223.html 译者：Joyceliu
Unnati Madan, Voracious Reader, Storyteller.
This happened 2 months after my mother’s death, when my relatives were forcing my father to start looking out for a ‘suitable woman’ for remarriage.
Although, I don’t have any problem with re-marriage but my father was sure that he will never think about remarriage. He believes that his love for my mother is immortal and I respected his decision.
So, when my relatives started pressurizing us and that too only after 2 months of my mother’s death, it somehow angered me and after a few minutes I was standing in the living room of one of my relatives.
A lot of debate happened, on trying to convince me about how beneficial it will be for my little brother and my father after me and my sister’s wedding.
But they were not ready to understand that it wasn’t me who was denying the remarriage thing for my father but my father himself wasn’t ready for this. I was only there so that they would not utter such things in front of my father and hurt his sentiments.
I don’t know what happened to me but I was so angry that I ended up uttering:
“What if it wasn’t my mother who has died but my father? What if it was my father, would you still force my mother for remarriage ? “
She: “No, she is woman, it doesn’t happen like this.”
“Why would we tell her to get married again. “
“She can easily manage home, her kids.”
“There’s no point of remarriage”
The answers were shocking.
This is the typical mentality of our Indian Society that disgusts me.Every single time I think about this conversation, I feel disgusted and scared.
However, I won the argument but I lost all my respect for them.
The way our society looks at a housewife disgusts me. This is just so saddening how Indian women are treated by our society. She is treated as just another ‘thing’, who is only there to take care of home and kids, do chores and chores and die. So that her husband can get another ‘thing’ who would repeat the same.
But when the same thing happens to her, when her husband dies, no one even thinks about her.
Although, time has changed and things are changing too but this one thing needs to be changed really soon.
Sudhansu Mishra, Software Developer at Ramtech Corporation (2017-present)
Male Chauvinism The whole of India has this belief that men are superior to women. The worst part is that some women seem to think so too! This makes girls hate the Indian society even more. The patriarchal system is widely accepted and makes things much worse for the girl.
Dowry Indians have reached Mars but still some things seldom change. Dowry has been around since ancient times and it continues even today. It is so rampant that people believe it to be a part of marriage. Girls hate this thing, this evil, because they feel like a commodity who is being sold at a depreciation!
Freedom With Limitations Freedom has an entirely different meaning in India, especially for girls. Another one of those things to hate about India is its limitations in case of a girl's freedom. She can stay out only upto a certain time. Having friends is fine but guys as friends can lead to questions on the girl's character.
It is not about the government, not about the education system, not about social ethical codes; it’s about how we perceive India. How many times have we heard somebody saying “Ye India hai, yahan sab chalta hai” (this is India, everything is OK here) or how many times have we ourselves said “India ka kuch nahi ho sakta” (no good can happen to India). India is us and we are India, the sooner we understand this the better it is for us and the nation. The solution to most of our problems lies within ourselves and our outlook. A simple change in our own mindset will change how we look at our nation, and how others related to us look at our nation.
Respecting someone based on their job or profession.
I had a colleague who always used to misbehave with waiters, bus conductors, drivers and even the office boy. But he was very polite and offered respect to doctors, engineers or the big shot restaurant owners.
I’ve even seen many of my relatives who were old enough to understand the give and take of respect but many times they behaved badly with people like waiters, conductors. One of my distant uncles once insulted a barber so badly that the barber started crying. The reason was very simple, uncle went to the shop for a shave as he had to visit a local MLA, barber told him to wait for sometime as there were 2 other people in line ahead of him. My distant uncle started abusing barber so badly that I felt humiliated of his behavior.
This mentality is very typical in Indian society which I find disgusting. Judging and respecting someone based on the kind of work they do is never correct. Have same level of respect towards all professions and professionals.
This is the conversation between two aunts who are my relatives.
Names are changed.
Aunt1 : Why do you think brother Murthy is still not serious about the marriage of his daughter?
Aunt2 : You are right. He should take it seriously. She is going to hit 25 in a month or two and they haven’t planned yet.
Aunt1 : Once girl crosses 25, it becomes very tough to search for a groom and no one will come forward to marry her.
Aunt2 : Yeah, it’s better to marry her off soon to someone and send her to her in laws home.
Aunt1 : I think we should talk to brother about this.
One has to marry when they feel they are ready for it, not when they hit so and so age. The sad truth here is that, relatives, neighbours and the society is more bothered about the marriage of a girl rather than her parents itself. Parents are not an excuse, there are few parents who still think the same.
This is another conversation between my uncle and my brother.
Uncle : Now that you are in final year, you will have placements, right?
Brother : Yes Uncle.
Uncle : How will the work be if you get into Navy?
Brother : You get to work 6 months on water bodies in sea and 6 months in the office.
Uncle : Do not take up such jobs. It will be very difficult to get matches in future. Listen to me and pursue some higher studies first, so that you get good matches.
Is life only about marriage? Please stop giving such bullshit advises where you want us to fit into the ‘labels of society’ to impress so and so people at the expense of giving up our dreams and career for them.
Dear Parents and society,
Life is not all about marriage. Marriage of course is an important part of life, but don’t make it life. Don’t impose such ignorant thoughts into your child’s brain and don’t force them to fit into the labels of the society. Society is none other than ourselves. We make the society. Instead of blaming that society is like this and we have to fit into it, start bringing the change. You be the change that you want to see. But please do not let your children get succumbed to such societal labels which are crap and are useful only for gossi.
No offence to anyone.
Suraj Shimpi, Design Engineering
Kounsi Jaat he tumhari?
Last week, I was traveling from mumbai to Nasik by train.
There was young lady traveling with her hubby (both well educated!). There were another middle aged lady and a kid of 8 -10 year old who was traveling with his father.
His father was talking in good Marathi with co passengers whereas the kid could talk only in hindi/hinglish.
His inability to talk in same language like his father had intrigued these ladies.
While train halted at one of the station, kid's dad went out for having tea. These ladies who were quiet till now suddenly started (investigating!) talking to the kid.
And the conversation went on as follows:
The young lady: konse school me ho?
He: xyz school
The Young lady: Marathi nahi padhate kya? Or tumhare papa kaise bolte he fir marathime ?
The kid : what is it? I don't know what is that.
Other lady asked his surname and explained what is in his surname!!
That day kid learned new concept called Jaat!
Train's Whistle was blown...his dad came back... Ladies got quiet again ...Idea of cast got transplanted to the next generation! Train started taking speed...with the same hope of unity in diversity!!!
Isha Raina, Team Lead (2017-present)
I would like to quote two incidents that happened with me which showcase the typical mentality of our society.
Incident 1: This is when I was living in Jammu with my parents. I was in 10th grade and had some shop to do for my upcoming exams. Since I have an elder brother who was in 12th then and my mentor, we both went out together so that he could guide me on which authors to buy and few more books to read post exams till the classes started for 11th. We were returning back and decided to walk home instead of taking a rickshaw and were talking and giggling sometimes. Not having too much age difference we grew up very close to each other (still are). While we I oblivious to the surroundings and enjoying our own stupid discussions, I hear a loud male voice behind us say in kashmiri :
“Wyuch sa zamanas kas trath thi pyemich” (Translation: Look, how our society has degraded).
“Wyuch sa zamanas kas trath thi pyemich”(这句话的意思是:看，我们的社会是如何堕落的)。
I turned back to see a middle aged man talking to his middle aged male friend, while pointing to us. He noticed me looking at him and continued to say to his friend, this time in hindi:
“Besharmi ki had ho gayi hai..inko dekho kaise ghoom rahe hain lovers ban ke”. (Translation: Indecency has crossed its limits, look at these two roaming around being lovers).
“Besharmi ki had ho gayi hai..inko dekho kaise ghoom rahe hain lovers ban ke "(这句话的意思是:无礼得没边了，看看这两个四处游荡的恋人吧)。
I was shocked to see a stranger talk to us like that but before I could say a word i heard my brother say to him “Thank you for trying to shame us, but she is my little sister and even if she wasn’t, your comments would not have made any difference. So next time please keep your opinion to yourself”.
It was extreme satisfaction to see that mans face turn red and both of them sped away without saying a word.
Incident 2: This happened a few weeks before my wedding. My would-be husband was headed to his parents place for the wedding and since he was driving from Bathinda to Meerut, he decided to stopped for a day in Delhi to help me with some last minute shop. I was to leave for Jammu next day for the said wedding. We met at a shop mall and after getting everything we had to get, headed for my place. At the time I was living in a shared apartment at a busy street, with two other female flatmates.
When we reached my apartment complex, there was a scooter parked in front of our building’s gate thus blocking us from parking the car inside the gate. I recognised a man standing just a few steps away as our downstairs neighbour and approached him and said “Uncle, we have to park the car for some time and your scooter is parked outside the gate. Please move it a little to the side or inside so that we can take the car in”. He looked at me and then stared at the car which had my fiancee still sitting in and said in an entitled tone “I am not moving anywhere. You can park elsewhere”.
If you have lived in Delhi (Not Noida or Gurgaon) you know how hard it is to find a parking spot on a busy market street. So I asked him politely again “Sir, we are in a hurry and you know there are no empty parking spaces on this road. If you do not want to park inside, just move your scooter and once our car is in you can move it back to where it is.”
This time he ignored me completely and went to the car window and started asking my fiancee all kinds of personal questions “Who are you? What relation do you have to the girls? Do you know there are families living in the building? Should i call the police?”
Kounsi Jaat he tumhari?
My fiancee not wanting to create a scene at my residence was just politely ignoring the questions but asking him to move his scooter again and again. During this whole time there are cars waiting behind us and honking for us to leave them way. I had had it, I thought enough with the politeness and asked him “what is your problem? do you have a problem with him?” and my fiancee also lost his cool due to constant honking behind us and decided to park outside the gate itself just at a distance of few centimetres from the scooter blocking his movement. Now that tables were turned, the neighbour immediately started his scooter and moved it, realising that we were not complying with his stupidity just because he was elder to us.
We finally parked inside and as soon as we reach my floor, I get a call from my landlord telling me that the neighbour had called him asking him to remove us from the apartment as the girl with the brown hair is bringing random men to the place and how he tried to stop us from entering my apartment but failed. Fortunately, I had already invited my landlord to our wedding so he had told them in a stern voice that the guy isn’t any random person but my would be husband. It seems they apologised to him and asked to pass on the apology to my fiancee as well. (Not to me, although I was the tenant but I am a girl right!)
This is typical Indian mentality, a single girl bringing male friends to her place is considered threat to the families somehow and could be thrown out of apartment, but add a word “husband” or “engagement” and even marital rape becomes legal!
David X, Singer, Songwriter & Story writer.
I'm so angry with the mentality of the Indian society that sometimes I think “Why I born here”.
I'm showing you why…
Everyone thinking that I'm Hindu, Yes I'm.
Now Everyone thinking that I'm Muslim.
A old lady asked me for help, she was inside the temple. I rushed towards her, a priest of the temple stopped me and yelled- “No, you are Muslim”.
In my Hometown, my house is beside Zama Maszid(Mosque). I entered Mosque so many times for cricket ball, they never stopped me for being a Hindu.
At college, wearing Shirt & Jeans.
Everyone is Happy.
At College, wearing Track pant.
A girl in my batch: What is happening in this class room?? What the hell are you wearing??
I be like: What The Fuck, you can't talk to me in this way, you are not my Mother.
I feel comfortable in track pants. And it depends on my Mood what I want to wear.
When I was in 3rd grade, I was good in Sketching. But my Mom said No. I was a kid. I accepted it.
When I was in 8th grade, I was good in Cricket. But my Mom said No. I was a kid. I accepted it.
When I was in 11th grade, I was good in Singing & Songwriting. But my Mom said No. This time I was not a kid. I argued against it.
My Mom & Dad called one of my relative to give me advice about my Career.
My Relative told me: If you are good at Something, do it after Engineering.
His Son is in NSD & Daughter is studying Fashion Designing Course
Naindeep Kaur, lives in India
These things happens everywhere,
Converting dollars into Indian rupee
Relatives : Is your son now settled down in foreign?
Mom : Yeah, he is on the way of progress slowly !
Relatives : How much dollar he earns for one hour ?
Mom : Around 12–13 dollars per hour
Relatives : For how many hours he works there ?
Mom : I don't know exactly, maybe around 12–13 hours
Relatives : (they have fit calculators in their mind) means, in a day he earns 144 dollars or according to Indian rupee, he earns 7344 rs in a day, what else he want than this ? His life is already set, don't worry !
I was sitting beside my mom and I was shocked with their fast calculations.
Relatives, the walking matrimonial sites !!
Relatives : ( at any random marriage)Your daughter has quiet good height, how will you search groom for her of her similar height ?
Mom : God knows very well !!
Relatives : You don't worry, she is my daughter too, I will search for her !!
Me : Mom, let's go from here, I am hungry ! (Everytime these unwanted marriage proposals sucks)
Comparing marks with others.
Relatives : I think, you completed your graduation this year, how much you scored in your exams ?
Me : (irritating question) 78% uncle !
Relatives : Its very less dear, my son scored 85% during his graduation, study well in future, I am sure you will do better next time than this.
Me : (controlling myself in front of my parents, giving fake smiles) Ji uncle, sure !!
Why thes relatives relatives always poke their nose in each and every issue ?
Poking in others life, is the typical mentality of the Indian society