How do the Indian newly-weds spend their first night?

印度新婚夫妇的第一个夜晚会如何度过?

QUORA网站读者评论：

Anonymous

Well I married my friend, but it was also arranged. I know, it is complex. We were pretty close to each other but we had not done that (you all know what). We were separated by more than 1000 kms due to our jobs at the time of marriage. We were pretty cool and relaxed up to the month of wedding but then things started moving at a frenetic pace and tension also started building up. Now coming to the first night I was quite tensed. The fact that I was so close to her added to the tension. I must not do something that disappoints her and diminish me in her eyes (we had and still have huge respect for each other). I was asked (during the arrangement phase) whether the 'first night' must be arranged in a good hotel or at her home. I preferred her home, thinking at least one of us will be in familiar territory.  After dinner we entered the bedroom together. It was decorated with flowers and milk and fruits were also kept. We were advised, that don't get up early in the morning and rush out; wait till someone calls. Usually we used to be so talkative that there won't be a silent moment between us but that night both of us were tongue tied. We sat on the bed. I smiled at her and she at me. Again silence. She broke the silence, 'How is my house?'. I smiled and said something (I don’t remember), I put my arms around her, she leaned on me and I pulled her close to me. We were back to what we always were. Started chit chatting. She reminded me, we are supposed to drink the milk. We shared it, lied down into each others arms and kept talking and feeding fruits to each other playfully. This went on for sometime and I don't know when we slept off in each others arms (both of us were damn exhausted). Suddenly I was jolted out of my sleep by her mother (my MIL) calling her name. It was already morning (sun was up). I woke her up and she went out of the room. Now what followed was both embarrassing and hilarious. I could have buried myself in the ground that day. Though it is a nice joke now

我和我的朋友结婚了，但也是父母包办的。我知道，这很复杂。我们彼此很亲密，但我们没有越过雷池一步(你们懂得的)。因为工作的关系，我们结婚时远隔1000多公里。直到婚礼前一个月，我们都还很冷静，很放松，但之后事情开始像疯了一样的速度推进，紧张气氛不断升温。到了婚礼当天晚上，我非常紧张。我离她那么近，这使得气氛更加紧张了。我不能做让她失望、有损我在她眼中伟大形象的事(我们从过去到现在都一直非常尊重对方)。之前我被问到“第一晚”想安排在高级酒店还是在她家里。我更喜欢去她家，因为我觉得这样我们至少有一个人能身处在熟悉的地方。晚饭后我们一起进了卧室。卧室里装饰着鲜花，还有牛奶和水果。有人跟我们说，早上不用太早起床；等别人来喊我们就行。过去我们都很健谈，从不会冷场，但那天晚上我们都不知如何开口。我们坐在床上。我冲她微笑，她也冲我微笑。然后又是一阵沉默。她打破了沉默，问“我的房子怎么样?”我微笑着说了些什么(我不记得了)，我用胳膊圈住她，她倚靠在我身上，我把她拉到我身边。我们又恢复了以往的常态。我们开始聊天。她提醒我，我们应该喝牛奶了。我们共饮了牛奶，躺倒在彼此怀里，不停地聊天，开玩笑地给对方喂水果。就这样过了好一会儿，不知何时，我们就在彼此的臂弯里睡着了(我们都累坏了)。突然，我被她妈妈(我岳母)从睡梦中惊醒，岳母正叫着她女儿的名字。已经天亮了(太阳升起来了)。我把她叫醒，她走出了房间。接下来发生的事情既尴尬又好笑。那天我真想挖个坑把自己埋起来。虽然现在回忆起来，是一个很好的笑话。

译文来源：三泰虎     http://www.santaihu.com/46896.html      译者：Joyceliu

Her mom: Are you okay? Feeling alight? Any problems?

My wife : (with an innocent and perplexed face) Fine. Why are you asking?

Her mom: Well. ..... Hey you people didn't even change into night dress?

Me : OMG (That is when I realised she was still in her silk saree and I am in my silk dhoti. She did remove some of her jewellry).

Moreover we didn't even turn the lights off at night. Luckily there was nobody else at home. Everybody had slept at the Marriage Hall. Only her mom was there apart from us. We hurried to the bathroom and changed.

God knows what she might have thought? These guys have already done everything, so no need to try on the first night? Fortunately or unfortunately my wife didn't understand anything, so she was cool. In fact I had to explain the whole situation to her (the next day).

她妈妈:你没事吧?感觉好吗?有什么问题吗?

我妻子:(一脸无辜困惑的表情)我很好。你为什么要这么问?

她妈妈:嗯……嘿你们连睡衣都没换吗?

我:天哪(那时我才意识到她还穿着丝绸纱丽，而我穿着丝绸托蒂。她倒是摘下了一些首饰)。

此外，我们那天晚上连灯也没有关。幸运的是家里没有别人。大家都在结婚礼堂里过夜。除了我们，只有她妈妈在家。我们匆匆赶到浴室换了衣服。

天知道她会怎么想?这俩家伙啥都干过了，所以就不需要在新婚头夜初尝禁果了?不知是幸运还是不幸，我妻子什么都不懂，所以她还很镇定。事实上，(第二天)我不得不跟她解释一下这整件事。

And this my dear friends was what happened on the first night and that too between two good friends. That day we had to leave for some temples etc so had to wait couple of days to reach third base. Then she fell ill, so few more days for the home run.

In retrospect I could have initiated sex on the first night itself, but we were too tired, too excited and too busy talking. Even today (after more than two decades) we can't keep quiet even for a minute if we are together.

Going anon because I don't want my son to read this on Quora. He is quite active. I would prefer telling him myself one day if needed.  Oh sometimes hunter becomes the hunted.

我亲爱的朋友们，这就是第一天晚上发生的事，也是发生在两个好朋友之间的事。那天我们还得动身去往一些寺庙等，所以得再等上几天才能到三垒。然后她生病了，所以又过了几天才进行到全垒打。

回想起来，我们本可以在头天晚上就啪啪啪的，但是我们太累，太兴奋，也太忙了。即使在今天(20多年后)，只要我们俩呆在一起，嘴巴还是一分钟也不得闲。

因为我不想让我儿子在Quora上读到这些。他是个很活跃的用户。如果有必要，我宁愿在将来的某一天亲自告诉他。哦，有时候猎人会变成猎物的。

Anonymous

We were both tired. But we want to try sex too. So we just entered our room and started the foreplay and after few minutes we started our action. And my mother suddenly called us for having dinner. But we don't want to go until we r finished. So we continued and my mother entered the room thinking that we slept due to tiredness. And she stunned for a moment says sorry and we still continued. Later we had dinner and again started in a different position and again her mom called us for seeing some relative who just came. And she thought again we r slee since she might never thought we will go for another round. She entered again and her daughter is riding this time. Huge embarassment for three of us and she told please lock the door from next time onwards.. She again looked on us and asked can you please come there to see the relative for a quick chat. And her daughter still continues the action and I just pulled her due to embarassment and find my clothes. And later night we completed our action and slept peacefully.. Next day mom said to my wife that riding is not safe it can injur on his thing

我们都累瘫了。但我们还是想试试。所以我们就走进婚房，开始前戏，几分钟后，我们就开始了。我妈妈突然喊我们吃晚饭。但是我们没结束不想去。于是我们继续忙，我妈妈走进房间，她还以为我们太累，睡着了。她愣了好一会儿，说了声对不起，我们又继续了。后来我们吃过晚饭，又换了个姿势，她妈妈又打电话给我们，让我们去见刚来的亲戚。她以为我们又睡了，因为她大概也没想过我们会再来一轮吧。她又进了房间，这次是她女儿在上面。我们三个人都感到非常尴尬，她告诉我们，从今以后请务必锁门。她又看了我们一眼，问能不能去那边和亲戚聊几句。而她的女儿还在继续，我因为尴尬只能拉住她，找我自己的衣服。后半夜，我们啪啪完后，平静地睡了一觉。第二天，妈妈对我妻子说，女上位不安全，会伤到他那儿的

Shravan Dhar, It's complicated.

This is a typical case scenario:

Most Indian couples are virgin before their wedding and so they lack confidence.

It starts with the groom entering the room and hitting the conversation with something he had prepared much earlier. On the other side the bride is tensed but showing too much interest to the conversation. The guy has to make her comfortable. He knows he is still an alien to her and so he applies all his tactics to make her laugh and say some romantic lines. This is what he has to do before getting on the part “how you doin”. (he sips the glass of milk slowly)

这是个典型的初夜场景:

大多数印度夫妇在结婚前都是处男处女，所以他们信心不足。

一开始，印度新郎走进房间，用他早就准备好的话题开始对话。另一边，印度新娘很紧张，但对谈话非常有兴趣。男人必须让她舒服一点。他知道自己对她来说还是个陌生人，所以他使出浑身解数逗她笑，说点浪漫的话。这是他在上演《你好》之前必须要做的。(他慢慢地啜饮起牛奶来。)

While they continue in their minds they are anticipating each others reaction to the things to come. Their minds are filled with a lot taboos. Both their respective friends have given them a lot of useful tips.

“The video tutorial were good but practically its difficult to apply” wonders the groom while the bride recalls all the advices and thinks “is he going to do that too”?

The groom is desperate, he has got to turn the heat on while the bride is ready anytime just waiting for him to sprang on him (poor guy dosn’t know this).

He starts talking dirty to which the bride responds with a clueless smile. Soon he realizes there is no point in this f**king conversation.

He has to begin him and so comes the first step

他们的脑袋继续转动，期待着对方对即将发生的事情会有什么反应。他们的头脑里都是禁忌级的画面。他们各自的朋友都给了很多有用的建议。

“视频教程很好，但实操性不行”新郎想，而新娘回忆起所有的建议，心想“他也会这么做吗?”

新郎很绝望，他必须在新娘准备好时随时点燃激情(可怜的家伙不知道这一点)。

他开始开黄腔，新娘却毫无头绪地笑了笑。很快他就意识到这场该死的谈话毫无意义。

他必须开始，所以迈出了第一步

Kiss

Left or right, cheek or lips, he is damned but somehow he manages to do it. Meanwhile the bride is glad that he started afterall. Both had mastered the procedure prior; thanks to internet.

Both expected more, but are satisfied......movies are far too more than reality (both wonder) !!

亲吻

左脸或右脸，脸颊或嘴唇，他做得很糟糕，但他还是设法做到了。而新娘则很高兴他终于开始行动了。两人之前都对这套程序很清楚了；多亏了互联网。

双方都希望能发生更多更好的，但都很满意...电影跟现实的距离还是很远的(两者都想知道)!!

Pushpraj Chauhan, works at St.Peters Grammar School

INDIAN BRIDE GIVE MILK TO GROOM ON FIRST NIGHT AS TILL NOW I HAVE SEEN IN MOVIES

印度新娘在第一个晚上给新郎端上牛奶，就像我在电影里看到的一样

Sunny Shikhar, a proud Indian

Indian bride and groom play snake charming on their first night.

On a serious note, why do you think that Indians behave differently on their first night?

An Indian couple, which has done love marriage, would behave exactly like any other couple in love from any corner of the world.

An Indian couple, which has done arrange marriage, would behave exactly like other arrange marriage couples around the world (yes arrange marriages do happen in other countries as well).

印度新娘和新郎在新婚之夜会玩耍蛇术。

严肃点，为什么你认为印度人在新婚头夜的表现会不一样?

一对印度情侣，在相爱结婚后，他们的行为举止和世界上任何一个角落的其他恩爱夫妻完全一样。

一对印度情侣，在包办婚姻后，他们的行为举止和世界上任何一个角落的其他包办婚姻夫妻完全一样(是的，其他国家也有包办婚姻)。

Anonymous

We had an arranged marriage two months ago. I was married off to an engineer 5 years older than me. On the wedding night, I felt very tired hence went to sleep. My husband entered the room few minutes later. He never had sex with any girl but masturbated regularly. He asked me for sex, I clearly refused. Then he opened his pants, and started masturbating, and ejaculated on my clothes and on the bedsheet. Before leaving the room, he whispered in my ear, “Now spend the whole night alone”. He went to get drunk with his friends. From that day onwards, we both sleep in separate rooms.

两个月前，我们夫妻俩举办了包办婚姻的婚礼。我嫁给了一个比我大5岁的工程师。在新婚之夜，我觉得很累，就去睡了。几分钟后，我丈夫走进了房间。他从未和任何女孩发生过关系，但经常自慰。他想跟我上床，我明确地拒绝了。然后他拉开裤子开始自慰，并she在我的衣服和床单上。在离开房间之前，他在我耳边低声说:“现在你就一个人过夜吧。”他和朋友们去喝酒了。从那天起，我们就分房睡了。

Kathryn Long, Overseas Missionary (Volunteer) (1989-present)

Even today, most Indian couples are virgin, both of them. So it can be tense and a little awkward, especially in an arranged marriage if they haven’t gotten to know one another well.

But they are basically like everyone else in the world and find their way through what is to be done. Many people just sleep on the first night since the wedding itself wears one out so.

Marital sex is something which improves with practice so it all gets better as the days and nights go by.

即使在今天，大多数印度夫妇都还是处子，双方都是。所以这可能会令人紧张，有点尴尬，尤其在包办婚姻中，如果他们彼此还不太了解的话。

但他们基本上就和世界上的其他人一样，找到自己的方式完成要做的事情。许多人在新婚初夜只会纯睡觉，因为婚礼本身已让人筋疲力尽。

夫妻间的性生活是一种熟能生巧的事，所以假以时日，一切都会变得更好的。

Anu Patel, Writer and Researcher

If it is an arranged marriage then it can be an experience of discovery.

It can be anything from from a husband expecting to have sex and the woman not sure or even afraid; a woman expecting the man to make the move; both people very anxous or even both of you slee because you are so tired from the wedding day itself.

However, if it’s not an arranged marriage, then the night is yours to make it special and different from those in the past.

Most of all it is a night to enjoy with the company of husband and wife

如果这是一场包办婚姻，那么它可能是一趟发现之旅。

丈夫可能想要啪啪啪而女人不确定，甚至还会害怕；女人期待男人主动一些；两个人都很焦虑，甚至夫妻俩可能因为结婚那天太累，都睡着了。

如果不是包办婚姻的话，那么这个夜晚就是属于你们俩的，让它成为特别的、跟过去不同的夜晚。

最重要的是，这是夫妻互相陪伴的美好夜晚。

Arunn Bhagavathula, Never dated any girl :D Maintaining cordial relationships all around :P

Normally they sleep together

Or they might play Antakshari!! Or tell each other their life story till they fall asleep.......there are so many things they (can) do

Let your imagination run wild...

通常他们会一起睡

或者他们可能会玩Antakshari音乐接龙!!或者讲讲他们自己的生活，直到睡着。他们能做的事情太多了；

让你的想象力纵情驰骋吧……

Anonymous

Mostly Nothing!

They just sleep or complete the rituals. Also, lots of relatives in house.

They both know they are here now. With Each Other. For A Long Time. Most probably, Till The End.

Best thing to do is to get proper rest and when you are back to normal....thats when the fun starts.

Also, its always better to build compatibility (especially in arranged marriages) and ease into it rather then jum into it outright (unintentional pun)

多半啥都不干!

他们只会睡觉或完成各种仪式。另外，家里会有很多亲戚。

他们都知道他们现在在这里。跟彼此在一起。长长久久。很有可能到临死那天。

最好就是适当休息一下，当你恢复体力后....就是乐趣的开始了。

另外，最好要建立和谐的关系(尤其对包办婚姻来说)，慢慢来，而不是直接蛮干

Anonymous

I read this highly educative thread 3 months ago, before getting married last week. I imagined that on our first night, my wife and I will end up talking all night, or maybe play multiplayer games on my phone, or maybe just fall asleep from the exhaustion of the wedding ceremonies.

In any case, being total virgins we imagined we’d do something that makes us comfortable and having sex was clearly not in the equation.

Nope. We had unexpected sex instead. It was awesome.

三个月前，在我结婚之前，我读了这篇极具教育意义的帖子。我想象着在我们的第一个晚上，我和我的妻子可能会聊上一整晚，或者用我的手机玩多人游戏，或者因为婚礼太累直接睡觉。

无论如何，作为彻头彻尾的处男处女，我们想象我们会做一些让我们感到舒适的事情，啪啪啪显然不在其中。

可是不。我们发生了意料外的性行为。这是很可怕的。

Anonymous

Indian bride and groom do exactly the same thing on their first night that brides and grooms across the world do; make the night the most beautiful and memorable night of their married life. If they feel they get it by being cozy and talking, they do that. If sex makes them feel great, they do that. Well, what else 2 young people locked up in a room do.. irrespective of country? Enjoy the moment

印度新娘和新郎在新婚之夜做的事情和世界各地的新郎和新娘一模一样；让这一夜成为他们婚后最美丽、最难忘的一夜吧。如果他们觉得舒舒服服地聊聊天就能享受，他们就这么做。如果性让他们感觉很棒，他们就会这么做。两个被关在房间里的年轻人还能做点什么呢？跟哪个国家有关系吗?享受这一时刻就是了。

Rajneesh Ahlawat, Proud to be a 'Th!nking Indian' !

The Bride and the Groom DO what is expected of them on the first night !

But in many communities, the bride and the groom are separated so they do what they ought to do whenever they get the first opportunity !

Many a times the brides won’t let their husbands do the thing ‘Suhag-Raat’ is meant to be due to shyness, unimaginable (women are really weird !) fears and perceived shame and embarrassment in front of the entire family !

Poor guys can’t refuse their brides’ wishes !

印度新娘和新郎在新婚初夜要做的就是人们想的事情!

但在很多社区，新娘和新郎是分开的，所以他们一逮到机会就会做他们该做的事!

很多时候，新娘因为害羞而不让她们的丈夫做那事，难以想象(女人真的很奇怪!)在整个家族前的恐惧、羞耻和尴尬！

可怜的男人无法拒绝新娘的心愿!

Maaz, MIT

My wife and I played minecraft for whole night. I loved it. We play so many games together. Lucky me

我和妻子玩了一整晚的《我的世界》。我很喜欢。我们一起玩过很多游戏。幸运的我

Anonymous

Im a male and im not married yet. But Im going to marry in a traditional indian arrange marriage.

i dont know about first night….but having seen in movies and what i read in some books , my instict says what a groom should do during first night…..

• groom must sit in the bed first and wait for

我是个男人，还没结婚。但是我结婚时会办一场传统的印度婚礼。

我不知道第一个晚上会怎样....但是我在电影中和一些书中看到过，我的直觉告诉我新郎在新婚初夜应该做什么……

• 新郎必须先坐在床上,等待

Rajarshi Ray, former Manager at Jet Airways (2014-2016)

play snake and ladder game.

玩蛇棋呗

Akshay Mathur

Given the hustle bustle of Indian weddings, Im quite sure that they sleep. I seriously doubt they have the strength for anything else.

考虑到印度婚礼的忙碌喧闹，我敢肯定他们会睡觉。我非常怀疑他们还有没有能力做其他事。

Vivek Shah, Fashion Photographer / Art Director / SME e-commerce image content

Nothing.. Absolutely nothing. They both Sleep peacefully. Thanks to our Indian rituals and the weddings functions which happens for 4-5 days  in a stretch. Lol

没啥. .啥事没有。他们都踏踏实实地睡觉呢。多亏了我们印度人的仪式和婚礼，这些活动能连续进行4-5天。哈哈

Anonymous

After the rituals, I was so darn tired, that night I just said "hello" to my in-laws and straight went to bed and woke up next afternoon.

仪式结束后，我实在太累了，那天晚上我只跟我公婆打了个招呼，就直接上床睡觉了，第二天下午才睡醒。

Shaunak De, Technologist

On my first night, my wife to be asked me: "What do you want to do tonight". I replied, "the same thing we do every night".

第一天晚上，妻子问我:“你今晚想做什么?”我回答说:“做我们每晚都做的事。”

Furquh Ahmed

I have married with a Girl and I haven't seen her before my mirage. First night we only talked about each of other. I wanted to know each & everything from her & she wanted to know each & everything from me. Suddenly I have looked at clock the time morning 7:30.

Now we have a lovely child & enjoying our life pleasantly.

我和一个女孩结了婚，结婚前从没见过她。第一天晚上我们只是谈谈彼此的事。我想了解她的一切，她想了解我的一切。突然，我看了看钟，已经早上七点半了。

现在我们有了一个可爱的孩子，享受着我们愉快的生活。

David Zander

Generally the newly weds gets so tired on their first night because of whole day rituals and a constant smile to relatives & friends… that they just do not feel of doing anything at their first night. But still it depends… the first thing is to break the ice of conversation (generally in arranged marriage) and then the last thing is to get started for it!

一般来说，新婚夫妇在新婚初夜会很累，因为持续一整天的仪式、对亲戚朋友一直保持微笑，所以他们在头晚什么都不想做了。第一件事是要打破谈话的僵局(通常是包办婚姻)，然后最后才会开始做那事!

 外文链接：https://www.quora.com/How-do-the-Indian-newly-weds-spend-their-first-night