三泰虎

洋媳妇:中国丈夫的家人会不会在意我的白肤色?

我最近和一个中国第一代移民结婚了。他和他的父母在他还小的时候来了这里。事实是,在结婚之前,他母亲一直很在意我的肤色。现在她看起来正试着接纳我。我的丈夫、公公婆婆还有我要去中国拜访他们的亲戚了。他们亲戚里头有些人知道我丈夫结婚了,另外一些不知道。我的肤色问题还没有摆到台面上,也就是说,即使 是那些知道他结婚的人,也不知道这是一场跨种族的婚姻。他的亲戚会不会因此而不高兴?特别是我还有可能自己去和他的亲戚讨论这些事情!

译者:僵尸头头
来源:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.com/bbs/thread-332181-1-1.html
外文:https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AwrSnMG7kbhUHQsAm0tPmolQ?qid=20150108141856AAi9vi4


han20130802aa

Q:Will new husband's family in China care that I'm white?
I'm newly married to a first-gen Chinese immigrant. He and his parents came here when he was young. The fact that I'm white was a serious issue with his mother for years until after we were married. Now she seems to be trying to mellow out.
My husband, in-laws and I are going to visit his family in China. Some of them know he's married and others don't. The subject of me being white hasn't come up over there. So even the relatives who are okay with him being married don't know that it's an interracial marriage. It goes without saying that the relatives who don't know he's married aren't likely to be happy about it.
In particular, I think I'm actually expected to somehow tell a particular, very difficult relative about this myself!
I don't know the attitudes in China. Do you think they'll be mad that I'm white?
I don't speak the language and I'm scared they'll hate me, and it'll get lost in translation, and I'll just go on being silly and not realizing how much they hate me. My husband and father in law won't tell me something like that even if I ask them to.
By the way, I'm 5'8". Is that freakish in China? I kind of dwarf my husband. I'm also like, 30F, something even Americans can hardly believe... I've always thought it made me look fat. I'm afraid of getting pointed and laughed at without even realizing it...
Please tell me any tips you have about fitting in in China, and any concerns I should or should not have. Thanks.

我最近和一个中国第一代移民结婚了。他和他的父母在他还小的时候来了这里。事实是,在结婚之前,他母亲一直很在意我的肤色。现在她看起来正试着接纳我。

我的丈夫、公公婆婆还有我要去中国拜访他们的亲戚了。他们亲戚里头有些人知道我丈夫结婚了,另外一些不知道。我的肤色问题还没有摆到台面上,也就是说,即使是那些知道他结婚的人,也不知道这是一场跨种族的婚姻。他的亲戚会不会因此而不高兴?特别是我还有可能自己去和他的亲戚讨论这些事情!

我不知道在中国,对待这些事的态度是怎么样的。会不会因为我是个白人而发怒?

我不会说中国话,我很害怕他们会讨厌我,而且我还无从得知,我会像个傻瓜一样不知道别人到底有多讨厌我。即使我问我的丈夫和公公,他们也不会告诉我的。

另外,我大概有1.73m,在中国会不会看着像怪胎。我已经让我的丈夫显得有些矮了。另外,我大概有…30F,甚至在美国,很多人都觉得难以置信…….我总是觉得这让我看起来很胖。我很害怕在不知情的情况下受到嘲笑。

请告诉我你们是怎么适应中国的,我的担心有必要吗?谢谢

以下是回答:



Best Answer(Asker's Choice)
Brandi
He married you because he loves you, no matter how his family may feel about that decision. So you need to hold on to that fact and remember why you married him. With that being said, I think the best thing you can do in this circumstance is learn the customs of his family and the Chinese and do your very best to follow their customs while you are visiting his family is THEIR country. They may not be happy about his union but showing your respect to their culture and custom may make the marriage easier to accept.

最佳答案(由提问者选出)
你丈夫爱你,所以和你结婚,无论他的家庭对这个决定会有什么反应。所以,你要记住这一点,记住你为什么要嫁给他。非得要说,我觉得你最好学习他们的风俗和语言,并且在拜访他的家人的时候尽最大可能的尊重他们的风俗,记住那是他们的国家。他们或许会对你丈夫的婚姻不满,但是尊重他们的习俗和文化可能会使得你们的婚姻更容易被他们接受。

May'n
Great answer! When it comes down to it, the question is about feelings. Thanks for addressing them =) My husband's feelings won't change, and that's all that really matters. I'll do my best to show regard to his family and remember that it won't be the same as regarding my own. Thanks again!


(提问者评论)
很棒的回答!当它发生的时候,问题其实只是心意。谢谢你把他们点出来^_^。我丈夫的心意不会变,这是最重要的。我会尽我的努力去尊重他的家人,并提醒我自己,这就是我的家人。再次感谢!



 
Freely
It's very common in Chinese ethnic culture that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law dont normally get along great, doesnt matter what race the daughter-in-law is.
Sons are very important in Chinese family, they are treated as kings and babies forever by the parents. Many Chinese moms feel that their beloved boy is being "robbed" away by another woman, which causes jealousy and discomfort.
Whenever you're with your husband's family, try not to get too close with your husband physically ie hugging/kissing, touching shoulder/back or even holding hands. These gestures may cause jealousy of your mother-in-law.
Your husband too has to be cautious about his mother's sensitive feeling, especially at the beginning, ie when having a meal together, it's better that he serves his mother first followed by you.
It will take time, may be years for her to accept the fact that she is now "sharing" her son with another woman.

其他回答:
在中国,婆婆和媳妇之间关系不好是很正常的,无论这个媳妇是什么种族。

中国家庭中,儿子非常重要。就像家里的小皇帝,并且是父母永远的乖宝宝。很多中国妈妈觉得自己最爱的儿子被媳妇抢走了,导致了嫉妒和有些不爽。

当你和你的中国家庭在一起的时候,不要和你丈夫太亲近,像拥抱\亲吻\摸摸肩膀\后背,甚至是牵手。这些动作会导致你婆婆的嫉妒。

你丈夫也要注意他妈妈的感受,特别是最初的时候。比如说,一起吃饭,你丈夫应该先服务他的母亲。

会花费些时间,或许是几年,来让你的婆婆接受她已经和别的女人“分享”他的儿子这个事实

 
Mai In Disguise With Diamonds
It's your husband 's responsibility to inform them and prepare the way for you

其他回答:
将婚事告诉他的亲戚,为你铺平道路,这是你丈夫的责任

 
Pete - #SonHeungMinFan
Don't worry. Chinese men are meant to be with white women. They will embrace it.

其他回答:
别担心,中国男人们喜欢白种女人,他们会接受的。

 
Anonymous
Hi, no they will love it, Chinese men see white women as a conquest.
Unfortunately, according to USA statistics, Asian husband/white wife couples have higher divorce rates.

其他回答:
你好,别担心,他们会接受的,中国男人把娶白种女人看作是一种成功。
不幸的是,根据美国的统计,亚洲丈夫和白种妻子有着很高的离婚率。

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